Why are there so many scammers in online dating?

Gee, maybe it’s because there are so many gullible victims there.

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It’s a well known fact that online dating is full of scammers, dishonest people trying to get money or just wasting your time with their fake profiles or playing on your emotions with insincere romantic promises. OK, so there are many people on online dating who are dishonest, a little or a lot, but why? What are the reasons?

Reason # 1

One of the big reasons for much of online dating dishonesty is how easy it is for people to disguise and misrepresent their physical selves on the internet. That tall, handsome man’s profile could really be a short, fat guy. Same for the beautiful lady: she could could be very physically unattractive… or worse, a man! Everybody wants to look good, so what’s wrong with a photo that’s out of date or has been “slightly” photo shopped? Hmmm, I wonder.

Reason # 2

Another reason that attracts dishonest people to online dating is that it’s a great way to actually live out “other dimension” fantasies and construct whole “other” lives they can share and talk about with online contacts. Their victims have no idea what they’re learning about the other person is all made up.

Now, I’m not a mountain climber, nor do I want to be (I’m afraid of heights!), but I guess maybe once I connected with someone online, I could tell them I climbed Mount Everest (but didn’t have the photos and would show them some other time). Or maybe tell them I was a military veteran, decorated for bravery, but really didn’t want to talk about it. The false lives and lies to support them can be big or small, but they are limited only by the imagination and creativity of the dishonest people.

Reason # 3

However, the most serious dishonesty operating in online dating comes from those scammers seeking money or worse. (Remember, there are criminals and sex offenders lurking online.) The reason these types are busy hunting on online dating sites is that so many online daters are emotionally vulnerable and easy to be taken advantage of. Many of these “victims” turn to online dating , because they’re just coming out of a relationship, marriage, etc. They are scared, hopeful, maybe desperate to find that perfect someone for them. And they are super vulnerable for the “pros,” who are just cruising the internet like sharks looking for them.

And that brings us to the example below.

A scary “scammer” story and proof that some people just don’t learn

An Australian man spent more than $20,000 funding scam artists he thought were in love with him, now has plans to propose to his girlfriend in the Philippines, whom he believes is the real thing.

I’m not making this up!  And I’m using this example to show how people how people can get scammed MULTIPLE TIMES, and still believe in online dating.

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The young Aussie is Ben Ivey. He’s 32 years old, looks normal and has been scammed out of    $20,000 by three women over three years.

The reason he gives is his emotional vulnerability at the time: “I think the reason why I got  scammed three times was because of my loneliness and I just wanted to have someone to  love  and I was prepared to do what I could to make the women happy.”

The scammers are smart, and know how to play on a person’s weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Ben said, “Every time they asked me for money, I told them about the previous scammer and how upset I was by that, but they assured me it wouldn’t happen again. I believed every time this would come true, but it didn’t.”

Now he AGAIN thinks he’s found his perfect partner online and is going to the Philippines to meet her and her family. We’ll probably never know if there’s a good ending to his online search, but we know for sure his story is a good illustration of what happens when expert scammers catch a victim they can take great advantage of.

For the full article.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this post and maybe learned some things from it. Remember, the best way to protect yourself from online dating scammers, is to use a reputable matchmaking agency like us, at Asian Western Love.

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Five things you MUST do on your first date with an Asian lady.

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So you’ve got a “first date” with an Asian lady you are interested in. The “MUST’s” of your date are not brain surgery. They are pretty much the same as first date advice in any culture, but for an Asian/Western first date there may be some nuances that are different from what you would need to do for a first date within your own culture.

So here we go …

1. Smile — This is the first MUST, and pretty much commonsensical (nobody wants a second date with a sourpuss or someone that looks like they’re sucking on a lemon). But some Asians, while they like and welcome a “smile”, are less comfortable with someone that comes off as a grinning monkey. Just give a friendly grin that seems to communicate, “I’m happy to meet you and look forward to making a new friend.”

2. Avoid Conflict — Why on earth would you want to talk about subjects that could remotely generate conflict between the two of you. You can have spirited debates on your second, third, whatever dates. This first date should be “smooooth”, and I spell it that way for a reason. No pressure, no force.  So take politics, religion, international relations, etc. off the agenda.  I call these the “conversational minefields,” and you may not know you’ve stepped on one until it explodes. There are unlimited safe subjects to share about, e.g. music, movies, the weather, hobbies/sports, etc.

3.Compliment — An easy MUST to practice and a quick, effortless way to warm up to each other. Give the compliment early, building on your engaging smile. Everybody likes to be complimented, so pick something about your Asian lady you can honestly compliment her about. But be careful. Asian women seem to have a gift for sniffing out insincerity in Western men. Pick something you honestly like and tell her. It can be her hair, dress, etc. , but make it real. It can even be her nails, if it’s apparent she or the salon spent time on them.

4. Take Turns — This one can be a little tricky, but once you’re aware of it it’s not so hard. Your Asian lady will want to learn more about you, especially since even though your mutual introduction provided some information and background, you are still a “foreigner” to her. On her side she will ask questions and listen to your answers, but don’t get so engrossed in your story that you hog the conversation. One additional suggested MUST here is the reminder that your Asian lady will be conversing (and listening) in what for her is a second language. Speak as slowly as necessary and be ready to clarify what you said, or  what she is not quite sure she heard correctly.

5. Thank Her — This is just a good manners MUST. You both invested some of your private time in meeting, so sincerely thank her for hers. It doesn’t matter if a spark is not there from your side, or hers. You both made the effort, and now are certainly “acquaintances,” and maybe even “friends.” Thank her! Oh, and one additional thought here. Although if on this particular date you did not meet the special one you are looking for, there are three subsequent outcomes that may follow, all of them good: 1) your mutual opinions may change and you both want to see each other again in a “date” situation,  2) the two of you may remain in contact as friends and enjoy seeing each other in groups or special occasions and 3) knowing what she now knows about you, she connects you to a friend of hers who just might be perfect.

OK, there are the five MUSTS for your first date with an Asian lady. Like we said, it’s pretty much common sense and being polite. Your mother probably taught you what to do. Now do it!

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