Popular U.S. relationship columnist gets a female reader’s advice on what makes a good man’s online dating profile.

Saw this the other day and thought many guys might benefit from it. “Dear Abby“, is a syndicated newspaper column that’s been around forever, but we men can’t argue that the lady reader’s suggestions aren’t good.



By Abigail Van Buren
June 17, 2014 1:00 AM
Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: May I sit in your chair and give some advice today? It’s aimed at men who place ads on dating sites and then wonder why they can’t meet “quality” women.

I’m an educated, decent-looking, middle-aged widow who has dated quite a lot through such ads and local social groups. Yes, it can be a jungle out there, but the Internet is a wonderful tool for bringing people together.

I live in a small town, and the pool of eligible men is smaller here than in metropolitan areas. That said, there are few profiles that attract my attention and that of my divorced/widowed friends.

Gentlemen, some pointers:

1. Smile! A dour expression is unpleasant.

2. We may want to see you with your shirt off after we get to know you, but it’s not the most appealing or refined pose for a first look.

3. Be realistic. If you are Joe Average, we Jane Averages would enjoy meeting you. Are you really going to hold out for a model who is a decade or so younger than you?

4. Be kind to the English language. You don’t have to be a genius, but it would be nice to know you can competently communicate in writing.

5. Consider a shave. Some women like men with facial hair; the majority of the ones I know do not. About 75 percent of men over 50 have a mustache, beard or both. What are you hiding under there?

6. If you’re married and miserable, for goodness sake, go for marriage counseling or get a divorce. But please don’t deceive women who want to meet a nice guy to share life with.

In case you think I’m being too harsh, we gals welcome any suggestions from men who scroll through those female profiles looking for love. — SURFING IN PETERSBURG, ILL.

DEAR SURFING: I’m printing your letter, and I’m sure the reaction will be interesting. The No. 1 complaint I’ve heard about Internet dating has to do with misrepresentation on both sides of the gender divide.

Full article.













Online Dating Giants Spending More and More on Advertising — What Does It Mean?

Media sources report the two biggest online dating players, Match and eHarmony are cranking up their media advertising in 2014.



According to media tracking service, iSpot, through May 31, the online dating industry has spent more than $214 million on national TV spots in 2014, dramatically more than the $241 million for the full year in 2013. Of the 2014 total, the top five brands account for nearly 95% of total spending.

And of that greatly increased TV advertising spending, two brands, Match and eHarmony, together spent $130 million or over 60% of the industry TV spending in just the first five months of 2014.

So we have increasing total industry spending and giant increases in TV for the two leading players.

What can it mean?

1. Online dating is a large and, evidently, continually growing industry.

2. The top five online dating brands want to capture some of that growing customer audience.

3. Match and eHarmony each want to maintain a strong competitive position versus the other.

What it also means:

Online dating has some characteristics that are almost a bit like a scam. With claimed “member” totals infiltrated by scammers and inflated by counting those who have left the sites and “gone missing” and are inactive, online marketers need to continually attract new users to replace those lost from their proverbial “leaky bucket.”

That’s why many who have tried online dating to find a meaningful, long term relationship feel they are being emotionally churned about without any real progress toward their goal. Of course, from the industry perspective it’s all good, because each one of those people counts as a MEMBER!

And that folks is why the industry HAS to keep aggressively marketing its services. They need the NUMBERS, when it comes to member counts. Not successful relationships, not satisfied members, but large and increasing member totals … and those are increased by marketing and one of the most successful marketing tools is television advertising!

So there you have it. Big brands in online dating advertise a lot to keep their member totals up. And as their member databases grow, don’t you feel better about finding your special someone among them? I didn’t think so.

There’s got to be a better way ….and there is.

Stay tuned and please follow us on Twitter: @AsianWesternLov





How do you know when it’s the real thing?


I read an interesting, but short piece the other day by P. David Hornik. He set out his ideas as to what a relationship should have, if it’s going to be truly long lasting … perhaps, even, forever (as most all of us may be seeking!).

Hornik’s indicators are simple, and perhaps somewhat expected, but it’s nice to have another person confirm what we all should either know or suspect is necessary for that “REAL RELATIONSHIP.”

1. It ought to be fun. This one’s easy. If a relationship isn’t “fun,” why are you in it. No, it doesn’t have to be fun all the time, but if it’s not fun more time than not, you better be going….somewhere else, unless you are some kind of masochist.

2. No “excessive” demands. OK, everyone has their own “requirements,” “requests” …who knows, but a “demanding” relationship can get pretty heavy, pretty fast. Monitor the demands you each make on each other, VERY carefully.

3. Do you both “fit.” This one’s easy. Do you both easily go together. No, you can be different and like different things, but if you just feel happy together, you’ll know you’ve got a good “fit.”

4.  Accept each other. This kind of goes with the “fit” above in #3 and it’s a good suggestion for our everyday lives. When this don’t go your way, or obstacles come up, breathe deeply and try to accept what’s going on. No guarantees, but it just might help.

Well, that’s all for now. It’s not brain surgery. Maybe there’s a nugget or two in here that will make you more confident (or scared) about the relationship you’re in.

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